


Shifting

by bri_ness



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Listen I barely know what this is lets just go with it, M/M, Magical Realism, Mental Health Issues, Social Media, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_ness/pseuds/bri_ness
Summary: Some people believe that when you fall in love, your world shifts.Even runs a popular tumblr about the shift and how people experience it. Isak looks to it for help as he processes his feelings  about the shift and his latest crush.





	Shifting

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hi. My process writing this fic is best summed up by me complaining to Rino that it was challenging to write, and Rino's (sincerely) helpful reply of "ITS A CHALLENGE."
> 
> My prompts were magical realism + social media + first/second person POV). (I did not cheat the generator, so we're just going to say the first person elements are the tumblr posts. Cool? Cool). I have never written magical realism or any sort of fantasy before, so this is me exploring something new, and it'll probably feel that way. I'm nervous about it! But it was good to try something new.
> 
> I have to thank Rino because this fic probably would not exist without them. Rino, thank you for validating me, indulging me, and not calling me out for being obnoxious. (Also, if you haven't read it already, go read [Rino's fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938171) for this challenge! It's a delight!). (Rino, I tried to say your name seven times because I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE, and Rino, that was the seventh). 
> 
> Thanks to Kit and Immy for organizing this challenge and all the work you do promoting writers in this fandom. It's so appreciated. ❤️
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). And now that you've read an entire fic's worth of notes, enjoy!

_**shiftdisturber:** My world shifted today._

_Because I like the dramatics of it, I want to declare that everything you’ve ever read is wrong. But I am an honest person, and you wouldn’t be following me if I wasn’t, so I will sacrifice the dramatics for sincerity._

_Some of what you’ve read is probably wrong, and some of it is probably right. All I can do is describe what the shift's like for me. It's not exactly what I expected._

_Everything’s heavier, like gravity got stronger. I used to leap around the park and pretend I could fly—and by used to, I mean I did it last week. Now, I can’t even hop. A tragic end to the track and field career I’ve never considered._

_Colours aren’t as distinct, and they’re certainly not as bright. Everything’s a shade of black or white, this or that, right or wrong._

_My favourite food is bland, and what used to turn my stomach is now a fucking delicacy._

_Sometimes, I swear I’m carrying the sun in my pocket. Of course, that means I’m suffering from a few burns._

_I don’t feel any more or less than I used to, but I feel differently._

_I’m in love. The shift has proven that._

_And I am disappointed._

\---

So, he fell in love.

That was to be expected. Every day, people far less interesting, far less invested than him fall in love. Every day, someone’s world shifts while Isak’s remains exactly the same.

It’s just funny that someone who has put so much time, passion, and poetry into defending the shift would ultimately be disappointed in it. Isak is not malicious enough to be happy that’s he’s unhappy, but he is validated.

Whether the shift exists or not, Isak has no fucking clue. However, he knows that it, real or imagined, has the power to destroy people.

Isak’s mom claimed the ground was swallowing her like quicksand. The wind followed her, focused on her, targeted her. Shadows became people, and they were always enemies. She believed it was the shift. Isak, his dad, and the doctors all knew it was something else.

It made Isak’s dad believe all accounts of the shift were simply accounts of delusions. Besides, he never experienced the shift himself, and he still knew love. It just couldn’t exist.

Isak believed that for a long time. But his dad left him and his mom a year ago, and he’s been trying to work out what he actually believes ever since.

He knows there are two ways in which he can be destroyed. The first is that he falls in love, his world shifts—or at least, he believes it does—and he ends up really fucking hurt because of it. The second is that he never falls in love, his world never changes, and he’s just a fucking asshole because of it. He stops trying to be decent because the world won’t reward him for it.

Isak’s not sure which fate is worse, but he’s trying to fight both of them. To do that, he needs to study, he needs to understand exactly how love feels and all the different ways in which the shift can either support or kill it.

He needs knowledge to make up for the way his heart beats a little too fast, all the time. He needs to outsmart it.

@shiftdisturber’s blog has been his textbook, and he finds himself in its archives again.

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _I’ve noticed you always talk about the shift in a positive way. You only tell stories about people who get stronger, stop feeling the cold, and smell roses everywhere. But there are stories about people’s world shifting for the worse too. What about those?_

 **_shiftdisturber_ :** _Who is to say what’s better or worse? I love the cold and the way it forces you to feel everything. I don’t particularly like the smell of roses, and my lack of muscles means no one asks me to help them move heavy things._

_That’s probably not your point._

_Yes, I know those stories exist, but I don’t enjoy telling them. Some theorize if your world shifts for the worse, it means you fell in love with the wrong person, but many people who’ve actually experienced that fight that very notion. I’ve also seen the theory that it’s the world trying to restore balance because their love’s brought too much good into it. I prefer that one because it’s romantic as fuck, but I’m sure it doesn’t feel that way for the lovers who always feel like they’re walking over jagged rocks._

_I choose to believe that falling in love is good, and therefore the shift likely will be as well. Sometimes I believe things just because they’re nice to believe. I recommend it: it makes the days easier._

Isak reads the ask too many times. He blames the strain on his eyes for the tears in them.

He likes the satisfaction of being right, knowing that even for someone as optimistic as @shiftdisturber, the shift can be harmful.

But, in this case and this case only, he’d rather be wrong.

He’s not looking forward to his own destruction.

\---

Isak met Even a week ago.

On Friday, Isak saw him at party, took in the playfulness of his smile and honesty in his eyes, and swore his world shifted.

He was actually just very drunk.

On Saturday, he was studying at Sana’s when Even came through the door, surrounded by his friends. They all passed Isak and Sana with mumbled _hello_ ’s, but Even hung back. _You were at the party last night, right?_ and _I wanted to say hi_ and _maybe we’ll see each other again, Isak._ Sana’s eyebrows rose to the very top of her forehead and remained there throughout their interaction.

On Sunday, Isak had a text from an unknown number: _Got your number from Sana. Hope you don’t mind. It’s Even._

Isak replied: _I don’t mind. Hey._ :)

On Monday, Even joined his lunch table as though he always had a spot there. He charmed Magnus with flattery, impressed Jonas with his thoughtfulness, and entertained Mahdi with stories.

Isak did not have words for how Even made him feel.

On Tuesday, Even invited Isak to cut class with him. They ended up at his place, smoking, listening to music, and talking more than Isak had talked in years.

“Do you believe in the shift?” Isak asked.

“Of course,” Even said. “People have experienced it.”

“Not everyone.”

Even frowned, twirling his joint between his fingers. “Do you want it to be real?”

“I don’t know. What if the world shifts and it’s worse than before, you know?”

Even looked away, glanced out the window as though he was expecting the world to change in that very moment. Isak kind of was.

“That would suck, but maybe it means that something’s wrong.”

“Like it’s the wrong person?”

“I don’t know if that’s it. Maybe it’s just incomplete. Maybe it doesn’t happen all at once, maybe it’s a continuous thing that changes as your love changes.”

“Maybe you’ve smoked too much weed.”

Even laughed. Isak thought that if he could choose how his world shifted, he’d make every noise sound exactly like that.

“Maybe.”

On Wednesday, Even met Isak at his locker. With a blush Isak didn’t think Even got embarrassed enough to feel, Even handed him a piece of paper. It had started as a page of notes, but ultimately became a drawing of stars, music notes, and hearts. Each image was a slightly different shape and size, but the whole thing was fucking beautiful.

It was titled: _What your world should look like._

“I like it,” Isak said before Even could ask if he did.

“Yeah?” Even asked, his smile as bright as Isak imagined the stars on page would shine.

“Yeah.”

On Thursday, Isak didn’t hear from Even at all.

On Friday, he went to another party, and met Even’s girlfriend.

It’s Saturday now, and Isak’s really fucking hungover. He checks @shiftdisturber’s blog expecting pages of new asks, but there’s nothing since his declaration that his world shifted.

Maybe it’s not as interesting to talk about the shift once you’ve experienced it. Or, maybe it’s too sad for @shiftdisturber to talk about now.

Isak goes back into the archives. As he reads, he thinks his head must be pounding like because his heart just fucking can’t anymore.

 **_anonymous asked_ ** **:** _hey, love your blog! do you think the shift only happens with romantic love? some people say they experienced it when their children were born, or when they got a cat, or even when they read a really good book. i believe i love burritos more than anything in this world, so shouldn’t my world have changed?_

 **_shiftdisturber:_ ** _Hi dear anon, thank you! My rule is that if someone says they experienced the shift, I believe them. What’s consistent is that people tend to experience it for the greatest love of their life. I actually think it’s kind of beautiful that’s not always romantic, even if I hope mine is._

_If you haven’t experienced yet, it probably means you’ll love something more than you love burritos. Lucky you._

Isak does not feel lucky that his world hasn’t shifted yet. Not at all.

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _lol how can you say anything about the shift is consistent when your own opinions about it aren’t. it’s the greatest love of your life, but you’ve also said that you can experience it more than once._

 **_shiftdisturber:_ ** _As I said, my rule is that I believe people’s experiences. If someone says they’ve experienced the shift more than once, I’m confident they have. Perhaps the greatest love of your life is different when you’re 19 versus when you’re 91. Or it’s about what you believe the greatest love of your life to be, but you later realize you were wrong._

_There are academics who will theorize, test, and prove exactly what the shift is and is not. I’m not as interested in that as I am in discussing how it makes people feel._

_You fall in love, and your entire world changes. What a story._

Isak recognizes the next ask because it’s his own, and it’s exactly what he’s worrying about now.  

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _I don’t want to start anything. But what fucking terrifies me about the shift is that, if it exists, some people to claim have never experienced it. Not for a partner, not for their children, not even for a burrito. I don’t know if we all get a greatest love of our life. I don’t know if we all get love. We don’t all have a story._

 ** _shiftdisturber_** **:** _Oh, sweet anon. Of course we all have stories._

_That scares me too. Actually, to use your language, it fucking terrifies me. But, I believe we all have the potential for love if we choose it. No, that does not mean everyone will have an epic romance, but if you put love in the world, you’ll get it back._

_And because I know that I’ll get shit for it, I absolutely know that many good, loving people have not experienced the shift for a variety of reasons. I hope they will, or that they’ll be happy without it._

_I guess what I’ll conclude with is this: whether you experience the shift or not, it can’t hurt to be loving anyway. That’s the whole point, right?_

Isak is fucking frustrated because when he read that answer weeks ago, he was comforted by it. Maybe there was a chance for him to find love after all—a good, easy love—as long as he was loving himself! It could be that easy!

But Isak was sweet with Even, he was funny, he was fucking charming, and it just didn’t work out. And he knows it’s stupid, to think his world could only shift for this one boy he barely even knows, but he felt like he was about to fall in love. He really, really felt it.

And now he can’t. It hurts even more than he expected it to.

\---

In a few days, Isak and Even are hanging out again.

It’s usually with his girlfriend, Sonja, and a combination of their friends, so Isak has to watch the way Even kisses her cheek and touches his forehead to hers. She’s nice, and Isak imagines she would be a nice person to fall in love with.

Today, though, it’s just the two of them sitting on the top of a bench after school. Even’s waiting for Sonja to pick him up on her way home from work. Isak’s not waiting for anyone.

Isak asks the question he wanted to ask when he first met Sonja.

“Has your world shifted?”

Even tilts his head towards Isak, raising his eyebrows. “Pretty personal question.”

“I’m just curious about it.”

Even hums. “It did, yeah. Not long before I met you, actually.”

Isak didn’t need to know that. “What’s it like?”

“Well,” Even says, watching the way his own fingers are dancing on his jeans. Isak blushes when Even catches him staring at the same. “You can’t see it, but the ground’s actually breaking underneath us. I’ve saved like, ten different people from falling into the cracks today. It’s why I wanted to sit here: always seek out higher ground.”

Isak stares. “Holy fuck.”

“I know. I never asked to be a hero, but….” He bumps Isak’s shoulder, and Isak catches on.

“Asshole. You can’t lie about stuff like that.”

“Not my fault you’re gullible.” Even smiles. “Don’t you know the shift only affects you? Even if the ground was broken under me, it would be solid under you.”

“No one knows anything about the shift, fuck.”

“Except for assholes on the internet.”

“They don’t know shit either. And what you said isn’t even right because it would still affect me. Maybe I wouldn’t fall, but I don’t want you to fall either.”

Even considers him. “How would you help me? Avoid the cracks?”

“I don’t fucking know. I could hold your hand or something.”

Even’s fingers stop dancing, like they’re waiting. Isak reminds himself that the world has told Even he’s in love with someone else.

“What’s it actually like?” Isak asks. “The shift?”

“Oh, the usual. It’s like all my senses are affected. Things look different, smell different, feel different—”

“In a good way?”

Even hesitates.

“I’m really not sure yet.”

\---

Because he hasn’t posted in weeks, Isak turns notifications on for @shiftdisturber. When Isak’s phone finally ping, he’s answered a few asks.

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _I’m wondering if the shift is a one time thing or if its continuous? I hope it gets better for you :(_

 **_shiftdisturber:_ ** _Hey, this is a great question that I’ve been struggling with myself. I kind of assumed my world would keep shifting into something better, but it’s more that I notice different facets of it every day. Like the heaviness. It’s hard to jump, but it’s also hard to run._

_I would kind of like to run now._

_I don’t mean to be ungrateful. I am in love, and I believe that because it makes sense. I’m not sure I believe it because it’s what I feel._

_I’m sorry that I’m sad about it. I’m sorry this probably isn’t the answer you wanted._

**_anonymous asked:_ ** _WOW, I would hate to be your partner right now. You’re a fucking asshole._

 ** _shiftdisturber:_** _I know, but always appreciate a reminder._

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _I don’t mean to be rude, but are you sure any of this is real? You’ve said before that you have manic episodes, so…?_

 **_shiftdisturber:_ ** _I am told every day that what I’m feeling isn’t real. I am telling you that the world is physically changing, but because I’m feeling it, I guess that can’t be real either._

_Maybe it is all bullshit. I don’t know, but how does anyone decide what’s real or not? All we can go by is what we feel._

_I felt the shift, and therefore to me, it is real. It’s possible that I’m just crazy, but what’s real to me is still real to me._

_Please check my tag for mental illness before sending me asks like this in the future. Thanks._

Isak’s stunned because reading these asks was meant to be a distraction from the rumours, but they only serve as a reminder.

Even hasn’t been in school for two weeks. The gossip is ugly, and it’s everywhere. Even broke down, he snapped, he’s fucking crazy. He dumped Sonja even though she did everything for him. His world never shifted: it was a delusion.

Nothing’s sitting right in Isak’s stomach.

No, he did not buy everything @shiftdisturber said, but he was always good, and compassionate, and now people are giving him shit because he’s not feeling the way they want him to feel. And Even, maybe Even led him on a little bit, but they’re friends now and Isak believes he’s still a good person.

Isak thinks about his mom, how the shift and her illness left her abandoned because people got scared—his dad got scared, _he_ got scared.

It’s just that none of this is right, and even though he’s often failed at it, Isak is person who ultimately cares about doing what’s right.

@shiftdisturber and Even don’t deserve to be talked about like this, and they shouldn’t have to be alone in their sadness.

Isak needs to be someone who puts some fucking love into the world. He’d rather love and have things go to shit than never try to.

Isak sends @shiftdisturber an ask. Then, he texts Even.

_Hey. Hope you’re ok. If you ever want a visitor, I’ll come over._

He turns his phone over in his hands, thinking it’s not enough, it’s not enough at all. Even deserves to have someone there with him.

He sends another text.

_Let me hold your hand. I don’t want you to fall through any cracks._

It’s the bravest thing Isak’s ever done, but he feels like a fucking idiot until, hours later, he gets a reply.

_Ok._

\---

Even tells his story in bits and pieces. Isak sits beside him in bed, holding his hand.

He is bipolar, but he and Sonja both knew that long before the latest episode in which he found himself naked on the street. Sonja’s well-meaning, and she cares about him, but it’s like a doctor with her patient. _Here is what’s good for you and what is not, please, please make better choices, monitor your feelings, do these things and not those ones._

“We broke up,” Even says. “We tried for a really, really long time to make it work because we did love each other, I think. It was years before our worlds shifted, but when they did, it was like the universe was validating our relationship. Especially because it happened at the same time for both of us.”

“But you didn’t know if the shift was good,” Isak says.

Even raises his eyebrows like he’s surprised Isak remembered that. “No. And when Sonja I were fighting, she confessed her shift didn’t feel right either.”

“I’m sorry. That’s sad.”

“Yeah, but my world’s going back to the default. Hopefully hers is too.”

Isak runs his thumb over the back of Even’s hand. “Can I ask you something?”

“Will I want to answer it?”

“Probably not.”

Even smiles. “Then I probably should, so go ahead.”

“Maybe I misread everything, I don’t know,” Isak says. “But you flirted with me. You invited me over, you drew me what my fucking world should look like—right after your world shifted for someone else. That was shitty.”

Isak realizes he didn’t ask a question, but Even seems to understand how he needs to answer anyway.

“I am really sorry,” Even says. It’s one of the few times Isak’s heard that sound absolutely genuine. “After the shift, I was so fucking scared. I saw you, and you were beautiful, and I just got caught up in the idea of falling in love with someone else and it being different. Better.”

“But you knew. That you were in love with Sonja. That you’d stay with her.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“You are very sweet to be holding my hand now.”

Isak squeezes it. “I like you, and even if you fucked up—you shouldn’t be alone, you know?”

“A lot of people would disagree with that.”

“Ok. I’m not one of them.”

Even smiles again, and Isak reaches over to run his thumb along his lower lip, just to make sure it’s real.

“I think,” Even says, then hesitates. “I am really tired, but—”

“I’ll stay if you want me to.”

Even laughs, raising his eyebrows. “Quite an assumption, Isak.”

“Am I wrong?”

Even shakes his head, and Isak grins. When Even lies down, Isak pulls a blanket over him, then wraps his arms around him. As he holds him, Isak places a small, soft kiss on his cheek.

“Isak. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Ok. But do you want to?”

“That’s not the most important thing here.”

“Humour me. Do you want to?”

“Of course. I like you.”

“I like you too. Let’s try to just take it really slow. And not worry about the fucking shift.”

“If we do that, what are we doing right now?”

“I’m just holding you while you sleep. Is that ok?”

Even nods against the pillow. “That’s ok.”

\---

When Isak gets home from Even’s, a full twenty-four hours later, his ask has been answered.

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _Hi, I don’t know if you’ll remember me. I’m the anon who said it scares me that not everyone’s experienced the shift. Maybe we don’t all fall in love, and we don’t all get stories. And that was honest, that did scare me, but it also scared me to think that I could experience all of that and it could still hurt._

_You told me to love in spite of all that fear. I did, and I got hurt, but I’m going to try to do it again because I think you were right. No matter what someone’s world looks like, it’s better with more love in it._

_Reading your latest posts, I wanted to reach out to you and tell you a few things. First, second, and third: fuck the rude anons. But also, even though I don’t know you, I care about you? And I hope you’re doing ok? Because you’ve been so nice to write this blog for all of us, and you’ve helped a lot of people despite getting shit for it. You helped me._

_Thank you. I hope things get better for you. I hope you keep loving, and I will try to be even more loving to make up for the days when you just can’t._

**_shiftdisturber:_ ** _Sweet anon. Of course I remember you._

_Not to be smug, but I told you we all have stories, and how beautiful that yours is all about love? I’m proud of you, which might be weird to say, but I am._

_Thank you so much for reaching out. Sending this shows you’ll do just fine at the loving thing, and I have no doubt you’ll find someone to love you back. If I didn’t have the sweetest boy in the world holding me only a few minutes ago, I might have a small crush on you. :)_

Isak stares at the screen, letting himself wonder. There’s no way—but if there is? He sends another asks, then refreshes the screen until @shiftdisturber replies. It doesn’t take long.

 **_anonymous asked:_ ** _It’s your “sweet anon” again. Tell us about this boy? Is he the one your world shifted for? I need to know who my competition is. ;)_

 **_shiftdisturber:_ ** _Ah, no. My world’s actually gone back to the default. But I would not be surprised at all if my world eventually shifts for him, and I know it’ll be beautiful._

_I’d love to tell you about him._

_He’s gracious, but he’ll stand up for himself as well. He is really fucking beautiful, with these blond curls that I’m dying to run my fingers through, and the cutest grin. His hands are warm, and he knows how to hold me. He is incredibly sweet, just like you._

_But I’m sorry, sweet anon. You don’t stand a chance._

Isak calls Even, who answers before the second ring.

“Hey. I was just talking about you.”

And Isak knows. He just knows.

“Let me guess what you said.”

“This is going to prove that you think quite highly of yourself, isn’t it?”

“Well, I know that you said I’m beautiful—”

“—I’m being proven right—”

“Really fucking beautiful, in fact. You’d like to run your fingers through my curls, which by the way, I am not at all opposed to. And I’m sweet, even sweeter than your sweetest anon.”

There’s silence on the other end. Isak panics.

“Sorry. Jesus Christ, I read this blog, and I got this idea in my head—”

“No, Isak.” Even pauses. “You’re right. I’m just kind of stunned.”

Isak laughs, as excited by the revelation as he is relieved. “Me too.”

“I guess the universe wanted to make sure we found each other.”

Isak decides to trust what the universe has in store for him.

\---

In a few months’ time, Isak wakes up next to Even in a different world.

He looks out the window and sees more stars than he knew could fit in the night sky, every bit as bright as Even’s smile. When he moves and the bed creaks, it sounds like music. Shapes that were circles and squares before have turned into hearts.

Isak already knew he was in love. The shift is just a bonus.

He nudges Even awake, who smiles despite the interruption to his sleep. “Baby?” he whispers. “What’s up?”

“My world shifted.” Isak notices fear instead of happiness, so he offers reassurance. “And I love it, Even. It’s beautiful.”

“Really?”

“It’s exactly what you drew for me.” Even’s eyes go as wide as his smile, and Isak kisses his forehead. “I love you so fucking much.”

Even kisses Isak’s cheek in return. “I love you too. And I have a confession.”

Isak raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“My world shifted a few weeks ago.”

“What?” Isak’s tone is not accusatory, just curious. He trails his fingers up and down Even’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. Or to scare you.”

Isak voices his biggest fear anyway. “Is it good?”

Even nods, leaning over to kiss Isak. “I see more colours than I ever have before. Everything I eat is delicious. The sun keeps me warm, but it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”

“Do you feel lighter?” Isak asks because that’s what he remembers most from Even’s original post, the heaviness. Even already has thoughts that try to weigh him down: gravity shouldn’t do it as well.

“It’s more like—I’m stretchier?”

Isak laughs. “ _Stretchier_?

“Like I’m comfortable expanding myself. Sharing everything.” Even brushes Isak’s cheek with his thumb. “And it all just feel simple.”

Isak smiles. “That sounds nice.”

“It is very nice, yes.” Even sits up, and Isak frowns at the loss of warmth. “Hey, let’s go outside. You can look at the stars. Explore your new world.”

“Yeah, ok.” Isak sits up, but hesitates before getting out of bed. “You know, it didn’t really matter how my world shifted. I’d be happy no matter what.”

“You think?”

“I know. As long as I’m with you, I’m in the best world there is.”


End file.
